Tonight as both Kelly and I i came home tired and realized dinner had to be made, Lucas was hungry and ornry and i did not feel that i had what I needed, it hit me. The reality that i do not and will likely never have an empty next. That my friend, is a big deal...
Most days I gracefully accept the fact that we will not have an empty nest . somedays i celebrate it. and some days i feel pain about it like today. Several couples came in today celebrating the fact that their nest is empty. Oh the adventures and freedom that they see.
Deep down , despite my love for my child, I long for an empty next . Then i think of those who wanted children and could not have them. Those who feel lonely. Those who lack for purpose and those that lost their loves.
I am a gypsy and by nature and by nature i live for freedom. But then the reality of life presents itself. This is my life. my beloved son Lucas cannot be independent.
somedays this breaks my heart. somedays i accept it without question. somedays I celebrate it.
This is my life. One that I will treasure.