I am a faithful optimistic person . But sometimes i lose my ground. I get caught up with the turbulence and the storms of the world around me. I feel that the "responsibility of life" overcomes me. I feel small and scared.
Can i carry on? Can i hold up? Can i stay the course? Can my loved ones do it without me? Why do i bother ?
I imagine that if i can stay present and allow myself to feel this vulnerability that it will pass and it always does.
I stand strong every day and do what i need to do. I care for people. I am present as they face dying, life, pain and suffering, joy and celebration. It is the joy of my career, I am blessed to have this life as a doctor where people entrust me and share with me. But there are moments where I feel vulnerable.
Sometimes . I want the universe to hang a large net and to catch me as i fall. I have needs. Sometimes they are not met. I can not blame anyone for that. It is what it is.....
Today...
Ok so I wrote that about a month ago. Was not going to share it but it was how i felt at the time. Brene Brown says " courage is born out of vulnerability not strength". I am not always great at sharing my weak moments. I decided that this saved draft should be shared......
Ok so to change gears....
So I recently did my first every art festival at the Carbondale mountain festival. What a beautiful place to spend a weekend in July. It was alot of work but overall was a great success.
An interesting observation that I made. I had three 4 year old girls come into my tent. They all three were immediately drawn to the painting that I call Sands of Turmeric. They went directly to that painting and all asked me to tell the story. I found this amazingly fascinating. This was a painting inspired by Robi Chakraborty Photographer extraordinaire. He lives in Minnesota but he is from India and the majority of his photography is from India. This was a girl that he photographed in the desert of Rajasthan , With his permission, I painted this painting. I love this painting but i am left with the question. What is it about four year old girls ? I love that it reaches them, just leaves me with a question mark...
Thank you for taking the time to read this.