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Feeling challenged by life

8/1/2015

8 Comments

 
Do you sometimes feel really challenged by life?  I do.  I have many times in my life.  Especially in my adult life.  Sometimes I feel like i am hanging by spider webs that are ready to give way, sometimes I feel like i am going to be plowed over by a tidal wave.  

I am a faithful optimistic person .  But sometimes i lose my ground. I get caught up with the turbulence and the storms of the world around me.  I feel that the "responsibility of life" overcomes me.  I feel small and scared.  

Can i carry on?  Can i hold up?  Can i stay the course? Can my loved ones do it without me?  Why do i bother ?  

I imagine that if i can stay present and allow myself to feel this vulnerability that it will pass and it always does.

I stand strong every day and do what i need to do.  I care for people.    I am present as they face dying, life, pain and suffering, joy and celebration.  It is the joy of my career,  I am blessed to have this life as a doctor where people entrust me and share with me.  But there are moments where I feel vulnerable.  

Sometimes . I want the universe to hang a large net and to catch me as i fall.  I have needs.  Sometimes they are not met.  I can not blame anyone for that.  It is what it is..... 

Today...

Ok so I wrote that about a month ago.  Was not going to share it but it was how i felt at the time.  Brene Brown says " courage is born out of vulnerability not strength".  I am not always great at sharing my weak moments.  I decided that this saved draft should be shared......   

Ok so to change gears....  

So I recently did my first every art festival at the Carbondale mountain festival. What a beautiful place to spend a weekend in July.  It was alot of work but overall was a great success.  

An interesting observation that I made.  I had three 4 year old girls come into my tent.  They all three were immediately drawn to the painting that I call   Sands of Turmeric.    They went directly to that painting and all asked me to tell the story.  I found this amazingly fascinating.  This was a painting inspired by Robi Chakraborty   Photographer extraordinaire.  He lives in Minnesota but he is from India and the majority of his photography is from India.  This was a girl that he photographed in the desert of Rajasthan ,  With his permission, I painted this painting.  I love this painting but i am left with the question.  What is it about four year old girls ?  I love that it reaches them,  just leaves me with a question mark...

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  
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