you probably never expected me to write a blog post on this subject but trust me it is a real thing.

As you likely know, i am a breast cancer survivor of 5 1/2 years.   In the process of having surgical treatment , specifically bilateral mastectomy with lymph node dissection, i lost 17 lymph nodes in my right axilla ( armpit). Since then i have been dealing with lymphedema.   This is where you get swelling in an extremity or other part of the body due to lack of normal lymphatic flow.  The lymphatics are like lace.  They are very fragile and in the surgical process they can be destroyed . Something i totally took for granted but have an amazing respect for now.  

I have had great control over the lymphedema for the last several years however because of the stagnation of fluid, i am clearly at risk for cellulitis which is a skin infection.  I have had this on average once a year for the last several years . It is treated with antibiotics and that is that.  But not really.  It is a BIG deal.  

This past week i flew to North Carolina to see me mom and sisters.  We had a great quick but amazing time together.  on the plane i wore my lymphedema sleeve as recommended.   i was fine for the three nights i was there but at about 4:30 AM the morning i was to leave i woke up uncomfortable and freezing cold,   I was under two blankets but was shivering so i got up and put on my serious winter parka.     With that and the blankets , i could still not get warm so i got up and made myself a hot tub.  Soaked for about 30 minutes.   Once out of the tub I could barely stand up. I had severe body aches and headache with nausea and the skin on my arm was tender and started to turn red.  Normally i travel with antibiotics but this time i did not.  

I had to catch a plane in about two hours.   I knew i had to get the antibiotic in my system so at the risk of missing my flight i called in a prescription for myself to walgreens for Keflex.   I did get the prescription and ended up making my flight though i thought very seriously about cancelling the travel.  At this point I wanted to get home to my own bed,   It was a very long day of travel. 

I have been on antibiotics for 48 hours.  My arm is less red, i do not have fever but my lymphedema has ballooned. the swelling is out of control.  I have learned over the years that when the lymphedema flares, I just feel tired.   I have had a couple of hard days at work just getting through the day.  Today my arm felt like it was huge.   I could not stand it.  I decided to go to hard core, hot yoga.  

I had to get the fluid moving.  i sweated and it felt amazing.  Tonight as i lay down to bed i feel like the swelling will be better tomorrow.  I need rest.  Yoga fixes all things for me.   Lymphedema cannot be cured but it certainly can be managed.

This  evening i also worked on this very impromptu state of the union painting.    It is in its infancy but i thought i would share the work in progress.  

Grateful for my health
Grateful for yoga
Grateful for family
Grateful for painting
peace out people 
xo 

​love , stacia

I am sitting in front of the fire drinking my coffee as the sun comes up behind the Grande Mesa,  I treasure this silent time of the morning.  I am pondering the coming week. Another Thanksgiving is upon us.  I think it is one of my favorite holidays.  It will just be a small one again this year .  Just my immediate family minus Hannah. She will be in Florida for Thanksgiving and will be coming home for Christmas.  Time.  It just goes by so fast.   As i look at the list of my blog entries I realize I have been writing this blog now for 4 1/2 years.  almost monthly.  

If you did not see my last blog post,  I have been invited to show my art at the Church in Denver on December 7th with Conception Arts.  For me it is really exciting to think about going to the big city with my art.   I am super excited that my sister Cori and her husband Rick will be here from California as well as local friends I hope.  As I have a large collection of paintings ( obviously I cannot bring them all) and I paint big, I have requested a double space.  I do have to pay for the spaces.  

The cost is defrayed by selling tickets. The tickets are $20 a piece. They must be purchased by 12/02.  Thank you to those from afar who cannot make it but have been kind enough purchase a ticket to support me .  It means the world to me .  

If you would like to purchase a ticket you can do so here.    conceptionarts.com/artist/yIunkht

I now have 2018 calendars!   This will be my third year doing calendars.  The calendar has 13 of my original paintings and they are $30 each.   The can be purchased on my website  here.   Featured Products

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From my heart to yours I pray that you enjoy time with family and friends this Thanksgiving and that you take time, above and beyond,  recognize the gifts that lie ahead of you, behind you and at your feet at the present moment.  
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Thank you for the support you offer me in so many ways

Love.

​Stacia

https://www.conceptionarts.com/artist/yIunkht

It has been a stunning November 1! 

 The sun, the light, the clouds, the colors, the roasted acorn squash.   Still warm enough to grill our dinner outside.    I got to go on a beautiful desert bike ride today.   I thought about the fact that November holds Thanksgiving.  My favorite holiday.   For me November is about gratitude.   Do I struggle and feel pain ?  Of course.  There are some things in my life that make me very sad.    But I do have a lot to be thankful for.  

As I got home from my bike ride and the light and color was perfect I went to my studio to sign a painting and prepare it for shipping.   I walked through my studio and my home and I was stopped at every corner with all of the paintings that hang, sit  and lie in my home.   How did this happen?  How did I create this?   Some no longer lie near me but they are scattered around the US.  But how did this left brained, logical, scientific ish person do this?  What started back then during a very difficult time has left a huge story.   I love every single painting and they ALL speak.  If they don't,  I am not done.   I have to share this!!!

I have to have a show!  Not for the purposes of selling my art though  that would be a bonus but to share it.  My paintings blow my mind, soothe my soul, light my light,  and ease my burdens.   I honestly am humbled at this time of reflection to see what I have created.  I need to show it.  I am  planning an open house at my home on December 2nd ( for those who are local)  but I am not sure that i have the sufficient space to show it.     It will definitely be a great start.  This is my moment to manifest.   

 I SEE A POP UP GALLERY.   For one or two nights.     It will be a gathering of people, a sharing of light, snacks and cheers and art.   It may not be this year, but it will be.  It will be amazing.  If you know of a great space that has great energy,  great light.  and you can get my foot in the door.  ideally not too far away.  speak your truth. I am ready to share my stuff!  

I am not an artist who actively seeks to be in a gallery.   I would if it felt good.  But I do have a lot to share.  I see a space with big walls.  A sort of industrial commercial space.  food, cheer. people, friends, support.   A portion of proceeds to be donated .

And so to abundance and gratitude this November.  For all that is.  

And for all of this , I am very thankful.  

XO  Stacia

I just returned from a painting workshop in Sedona that was amazing.

As I return , and transition back into life , I can finally tend to the news I got yesterday as we were exploring the Grand Canyon,

When i look back at my move from Maine to Colorado 6 years ago there are things that stand out.  It was HARD to leave Maine.  my heart is still there in many ways.  It was amazing to come here and get my student loans paid off .  It was great to be  in Colorado again after being away for 20 years. 

One of the most amazing things for Kelly and I was reconnecting with Cathy and Toby.  We met when we were kitty corner neighbors in Lyons, Colorado .  We were having our babies.  We shared stories and drinks and projects and recipes and Gardening!   Our babies played together.  It was a friendship that mattered .

We then left so i could go back east for medical school .  We kind of lost touch but Cathy was so great about Christmas cards.  It was a thread of connection.  It happens that I got an offer for a job in Grand Junction that would pay off all of my student loans and would bring us back to Cathy and Toby who now live on the western slope and are peach farmers amongst many other things.  

We have now been here for 6 years. Cathy and Toby have been our best friends. We share food and gardening and travel and drinks and friendship and real conversation.  The ones that are hard to have sometimes.   We have spent many amazing moments together loving life.   

While we were in the Grand Canyon yesterday, with limited service we received word that our dear friend Toby left us.   

Because of our many conversations,  I know that he is free and dancing with the angels.   My dear friend is left to pick up the pieces.   These moments are so profound.  They leave you speechless.  I am not sure what else to say  but we will somehow figure out how to carry on without Toby.   

There is a serious absence in my life at this moment.....  a void.  what will replace it?  

If you know me you know that i do not like to complain.  

For the last year we have been getting a taste of the system that we face for Lucas as he transitions into adulthood.  We have spent hours in meetings identifying his needs and how the system can help us.   Lucas will be finishing high school in 4 months. The greatest freedom Kelly and i have gotten in the last 10 years is when Keenan came here to Colorado a couple of years ago.  

Keenan had 10 years of a very unstable life.  It was hard for our family .   But he adores and has always adored his brother Lucas and he is now present and stable.  

In the last year or so, Kelly and I have had more getaways then we have in the 20 years that Lucas has been alive.  We got to spend our 30th anniversary in Italy because Keenan stayed with him for two weeks.   We have been able to go to Mexico for a week.  We have taken countless weekends to the front range to see friends, or to the mountains or to Utah or various other places where we could just kick back .  We come home to Lucas well cared for, happy and our cups full

Keenan has a history.   His has a background.  But he is the best brother Lucas will ever have. Keenan has given us a freedom that is invaluable.   We want him to get paid.  yes , we could pay him but the state has money set aside for Lucas.  For the last year or so we have tried to access that money.    It takes meetings, many unanswered emails and voicemails.  Staff turns over and so you have to start over.  He has funding but there is noone to provide the service.  We have had people signed up who don't show up and come to find out they called that day and quit their job.  

 So we decided to have Keenan apply so that he can get paid when he is covering for "us" as it should be.  He is working so he is not looking to be Lucas's caretaker but we hoped he could get reimbursed when he covers when Kelly and I go away. Respite, right?  

He has spent the last three months trying to apply.  No phone calls returned.  Finally a foot in the door.  He started the training process and come to find out that there is something on his background check that makes him incapable of being hired.   He is our number one choice to care for his brother but the agency can not hire him.  It is truly a broken system.  And so the funds that the state designates for Lucas will go to someone who really does not care for him the way his brother would.  I think as Lucas's parents we should be able to decide whether we trust Keenan to do the work .  

The system is just broken in my mind.  I am tired of trying to play it.   It brings me back to my alternative ideas.  Time to think outside the box.  Again it brings me to my idea of moving to Mexico.  

Feeling frustrated but in the long run,  Lucas is happiest at home with us and we will make it work one way or the other

Longing for the perfect world... I am sure i will be longing for a while but i do believe that there is a better way than this.    

And to keep it all in perspective.  I feel sorrow and am praying for the people in Houston.  I am also reminded of the amazingness of the human community spirit in stories that I hear and see.  

My heart goes out especially strongly to my dear friend Randi Patel and her family ... xoxoxo  .  I hope you are comfortable and that your needs are met.  

I love to come and i love to go .   Yes it is true.  I cannot wait to leave my home and to go on an adventure that takes me away from my everyday life.   As i have said before, I am really and truly a gypsy.  

I love my home.  The fact that I love to leave does not take away from how much i love it.   This weekend we went to Crested Butte Colorado for the wedding of our dear friends Jessica and Charlie.   It was sooooo amazing.  I mean first it is in Crested Butte which if you don't know it is is stunning!
   
There is something about 7000-9000 feet Colorado in the summer and fall that is crazy amazing. Combine that with good people who love life and love each other and you have an amazing time.  Meeting their family was so fun.   They came from Oklahoma and Connecticut.  Wild fun and totally crazy bunch of family loving people.  

It has been 5 years since I completed breast cancer treatment .

 For me hitting the five mark has been a big goal.  I am there and i feel amazing.   When i was starting treatment, one of my dearest friends, Kim Curless told me about a national organization called Casting For Recovery.   It is a program that you have to know about.   Breast cancer survivors of all stages get to go to amazingly beautiful places in this country to fly fish with people who are divine.  It is fun.  It is healing.  If you have a loved one with breast cancer please tell them.  

After Kim told me about it I decided to go.  I went on a trip  here in Colorado.  I met amazing women.   women who had something in common with me.   There was a woman named Julie.  She was very young.  Like 30.  She had young children and we completely connected.  I am sorry to say that today Julie has passed.  She left a trail of amazingness . I met Peggy who now is the national leader of this organization for 18 states and got to totally get down with her last night at the wedding.  yes!

Jessica was a fly fishing guide and she was also a medical student.  We met the first night and hit it off!   The next day I found out that she picked me !  She was going to be my own personal guide.  She is a crazy lady fly fisherwoman!  Not to mention she is so smart, compassionate, loving and funny and adventurous.    We took off in the morning.  She taught me to fish.  She cheered me on about how natural i was as a fisherman, haha!  She celebrated with me,  cried with me,  shared with me her personal challenges.  She went on to graduate from medical school and is now an intern.   She helped me to heal from breast cancer and I supported her journey to be a doctor.   She is going to be totally amazing at it.  She will be a lifelong friend of mine.  I adore her

This weekend in Crested Butte we celebrated life, love , fly fishing memories and the gorgeousness that is Crested Butte.  I met her family and I saw the love that is palpable between Charlie and Jessica.  It was a joy to be at her wedding.   

Kelly and I now both have ebikes and we Love them!  we were able to ride all over the place in crested butte!

Today as we headed home my cup is full.  As i unpack my bags and replenish my bathroom supplies, do my laundry, cook dinner, and make homemade tollhouse cookies with Keenan for Hannah who's birthday is just around the corner, I realize ... I love to leave. and i love to come home.    Life is good.  It is despite it all

I am going to take a moment to discuss something that you might perceive as "political".

A dear friend posted something about how the media is full of double standards.   I am certain that is true.   I of course took a deep breathe because we tend to think differently.  The truth is that i don't think we think that differently but I think we listen to different media/perspectives.    It has certainly created a crevice in our friendship but not one that would break our love for each other.  This post led into a conversation of what seemed like babble.    comments that were bold but very general and you could not make sense out of what the person was really talking about. 

Several years ago , during the time leading up to the election, there was an acquaintance of mine that is very knowledgeable but felt very opinionated and somewhat inflexible.  I ended up deciding to unfollow her.  It just felt icky.  Well today she joined the conversation on my friends post.   My assumption was immediately here we go.  But I recognized her educated and somewhat objective, non partisan opinion.  

I decided instead of continuing this line of facebook input that i would reach out to her privately.  She had made a comment that said this...

" I don't think religion should be imposed on citizens. But I also don't think policies should be imposed on religious citizens when they are able to demonstrate a history of devout belief and practice.".

 I thought to myself,     i agree with you but could you be more specific?  

this is how she responded...



  Her:  What comes to mind as an example is the small mom and pop businesses who have come under fire for not making wedding cake for gay weddings based on religious convictions or small apartment building owners who choose not to rent to openly gay couples based on religious convictions.

While I am pro gay, I think that there needs to be some understanding and respect for small business owners to make decisions based on their religious beliefs and I think they should be required to be able to substantiate said belief in some way
there is an argument to be made that when you enter the marketplace on a larger scale, that you surrender that ability to apply your religious convictions


Me:  Oh yes . I've heard about that and agree they should not be forced . Who the hell cares about that?  . It's so stupid !! Why would you want someone to make your wedding cake when they don't support you
Agreed



Me:  It helps me to have specific examples so I understand . Thank you

Her: so while the law may not specifically disallow small business owners from this practice, it also does not protects them from costly lawsuits
thanks for asking


Me: And I am positive that of  all the gays the vast majority would never sue . The small minority have to ruin it for everyone so often . It is through real conversation we realize we agree on much more than we disagree  I hope you and your family are well

Her:  I agree. I think that if we could just get to a place of dialogue, there is much that the majority agrees with or could be comfortable with if we would just stop surrendering our power to special interest groups on both sides

I hope you guys are doing well too! Cannot get over art work.
Just phenomenal!


Tonight i had a conversation with someone I ASSUMED thought very differently from me.  There were tidbits that were left out in the interest of keeping this short enough.  But i felt connected with my friend who "thinks differently".   does she?  do we know or do we assume what people are thinking.  I feel it is so important to speak specifically about what we believe.  General vague comments ( would you call that a platitude Mom?)  do not work.   We all need to be critical thinkers,  We need to listen to both sides.  

The extremists on both sides ruin it for us all whether it be american, muslim, mormon, christian, black, jew. white...  We can not allow these extremists to divide us as americans.   


WE CANNOT GENERALIZE  and i feel we all need to really listen and we need conversation.   

I pray and hope we can begin to heal this huge divide and realize that most of this does not represent us whether we are republican or democrat, left or right.  We have extremists in the world that want to disrupt our peace and i hope that we can work to heal the divides that exist. no matter what our party line is.  

In love.  

​Stacia




 

)I am in the process of transitioning my medical practice.   I gave a four month notice in my current practice when I accepted a position at Appleton Clinic here in GJ.  This practice is a different model called direct primary care.   Patients pay $79 a month for a membership and in return can be seen when and as needed with no copays, no charges.  They get free labs once a year and free x rays and other very attractable benefits.  Is this better?    That will remain to be seen but I love the transparency of cost that exists.   You know what your health care will cost you and the creator behind this venture, Craig is constantly negotiating the best rates with hospitals, providers and other vendors for the best price for our patients.  

I will miss my practice and have spent the last couple of months saying goodbyes to those that will not be following me.  I have treasured the fact that I have had 4 months as when I left my practice in Maine it was very fast and abrupt.  I left to come to Colorado as I received an offer that I could not refuse.  One that would pay off my $150,000 in student loans for a three year commitment.  I could not turn it down.  It was a good decision but I had to leave quickly and left many patients, staff and friends without proper goodbyes and conversation.  As I look back, I wish that had been different. 

For the last several weeks, I have had treasured conversations with my patients who have shared stories about how I have changed their lives or how I have helped them.  I am reminded of the gift of my ability to listen without judgement which I have heard over and over again.   Such gratitude for that. I am touched by the human connection that I am blessed to have .    I also feel a deep connection with the staff that has supported me to provide great medical care for my patients.  They have cared for me, worked hard for me and have become my friends.   I will miss them but we will remain friends. 

 With the uncertainty in our national medical condition, I feel this is a good decision for me.   I hope that in the coming years we will join the other modern nations of the world in working towards a universal health care system where healthcare is provided to all Americans as a right and a need.  That will remain to be seen. I will remain involved as best I can to speak my truth about this. 

Earlier this month, I was able to go to Maine!   It was amazing.   I framed my trip around a painting workshop in Rockland Maine with Steven Aimone.  It was fabulous.  We ( women from Asheville, Brooklyn, Charlotte, Montreal, Toronto, Kingston, Michigan, Connecticut,  Boston, Atlanta, New Orleans, Mexico City and Me)  gathered to paint, learn, share and be inspired by the Art whisperer.  It was AMAZING!  

I was also able to bathe in the friendships, the beauty, the food , the sights and the saltiness that I miss about my home.   There were many friends that I did not have the time to connect with but ... I hope next time. .   The schooner trip with Hannah off Bailey Island was definitely the icing on the cake.   wow

So I return feeling ready to paint my feelings, my gratitude, my regrets , my fears and my celebrations.  For i feel that is all i can do.  As I head to my studio, i thank you all for the support you have given me whether you have just liked, loved, commented or bought my artwork.   I have averaged a painting a month in sales for the year of 2017 and I am thrilled about that as my husband packages my painting to go live in a cottage on Lake Michigan.   Knowing that my creation travels across the country to those that appreciate my work fills my cup more that you could ever imagine.  

​

It is about Peonies.  

It has been a minute since I released a blog post.  I always have to wait until the inspiration arrives.   

I live in the high desert of Western Colorado.   I always saw myself spending some time ( i thought 3 years) in the desert southwest.   I have now been here for 5 1/2 years.   It is a gorgeous place.    like crazy gorgeous and wild and dry and everything that i did not have in Maine.  Now being from Ohio, and feeling very loyal towards the fact that I am a buckeye, and having loved ones there that I would love to rendezvous with , it is my root.

Upstate NY also holds a special place in the corner of my heart.   Cannot even begin to explain why, special place, special people.  fond memories.  


Where is my heart?  right now Maine.  lived there for 20 years and raised by babies.  i am seriously homesick about right now and cannot wait for my visit July 1!  There is something about Maine that is wet and soft.  That I miss.

Where is my soul?  right now Colorado.  I love it's majesty.    I love the unexpected rains!  more than anything,   I love the skies, the horizons, the openness of the people and the wide thoughts.  

Mexico is calling my name too.   I would love to live there at some point.   

The constant is that I am  a gypsy .  My dear friend Jody calls me " willow". 

Life is a journey.  I would  have never imagined that I .... would become a painter.  It is without a doubt one of my biggest passions.  Gratitude for that and for all of you that support me and appreciate my work.  Without having had breast cancer I would have likely never picked up a paintbrush.   Think hard about that.  What a gift.  Seriously.

OK now about the peonies.  When i moved to the desert, I thought " there is no possible way I could grow peonies or hydrangeas".    Last year we put in drip irrigation.   A targeted water system.  how efficient and amazing.  i thought that my peonies died over the winter but they are thriving and they are amazing to watch .  they are about burst .  they are still expanding buds.  I cannot wait to see their flowers any day now.  I think about targeting my thoughts and my energy like this drip irrigation system.   Can you imagine if you could just place your thoughts where you want them?  Direct them like a target.  No waste, no worry.  It is about the peonies.