A patient asked me " what is it that you hope to get out of seeing India?"

It is such a great question and i was not exactly sure how to answer.  

India has been a place that I have wanted to experience for many years.  As i contemplate the question I am beginning to understand what it is that I want to understand.   I think it is the extremes of beauty and ugliness,  joy and sadness, clean and dirty, ups and downs.    

In my life i have experienced the joys and the sorrows and i believe in the yin and yang of life.   I also love color and visual beauty whether it be landscape,  art or the expressions in a person's face.    I do feel that India is going to be visually moving in so many ways.   

I feel like I have been so organized planning this trip for the last year.   The last week  was a SHIT SHOW  Packing at the last minute.   Finding a bag has been my biggest hurdle so far.  I have returned multiple bags.  They are either too small or too large or too heavy .   I love to travel light but for some reason travelling to India so far feels like travelling heavy.  I hope to shed pounds as I go.  Tonight i packed and repacked and i am still not thrilled with my bag.   I feel like that is part of the thing.   
travelling in India breaks my usual rules. Every one i talk to who knows this country says   stay flexible.  Do not expect things as you expect them. 

 Travelling in Italy we travelled so comfortably  with a small carry on backpack.   This is a different adventure that has started already.  Handling frustration and  overwelm.   That will be a key for us.

So be it. My bag is large.   It does not have wheels, it is heavy..  But the odd thing is is that I do not think i have overpacked .  I feel like this is going to be  just one of the many double sworded, unanswered mysterious questions that I will have in the next month.  

I need to shut my eyes and sleep .

One other thought.  I have been thinking about this trip with my sister Cori.  What an incredible opportunity we have to spend a month adventuring together.  I think about when i was born, she was the only child i knew as she is just about 2 years older than me.  My other sisters are younger. 

I am very tired.  I have worked hard.  I am ready to relax but have a very long journey which starts tomorrow at 5:30 am . If you want to follow along go to staciabaker.com and sign up .   If you are so inclined, reach out to my love Kelly Baker who is holdign down the fort with our high needs son while i am gone

i am so grateful for the support.   Next up is we will be on the beach in Mexico.  

Buenos noches amigos. 

with Love, 

Stacia

It is a thing!   I hear it from all artists.    When i look at what i have painted in the last 6 years my mind is blown.  Yes it is true that i have been  prolific.  I believe i will be again .  and if I am not i know that I will still be painting.    My motivation to spend time in my studio has been obscured by other things.  

My family.   I feel like I have made some amazing strides with some family issues that really really matter.  In my yoga practice I have learned that you must tend to the root which is what i have been doing.  

My finances.  Leaving for a trip to India for a month in just over one month from now I have worked extra in my true job.  Being a physician for me amazingly has been one of the most satisfying jobs I could have ever dreamed of.  I know not all doctors feel that way but I do.  I LOVE MY WORK .    I truly do.  I am working every day in the upcoming month of January to bank some vacation time so that when i am in India I will not have to go totally without pay.  Thank you Craig.  

I honestly feel very fulfilled and happy i just have not been able to share the quantity of art that I may have shared in years past.

My dear teacher Ardith Goodwin ( who by the way is one of the most amazing artists that i know ) calls it FWELL. that means to allow the space and time for the well to fill.  I know that is what i need.  I will return to my paintings.  Right now i paint here and there but it is more about filling my well.    Please stay tuned. 

And if you want to follow my India blog sign up at wttps.staciabaker.com
Adventures and creativity abounds.  omg

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I do have to say that my time in my studio lately has been patchy.   I have been distracted,  finding excuses.  This summer was so hot and so dry that I did not think it would ever cool off.  This week has been glorious.  cool temps, rain, gorgeous skies and clouds. I feel like winter may approach quickly .  In anticipation of winter , I prepare for my trip to India with my sister , Cori.  

I am working a lot now to bank some vacation time so that I do not take an entire month without pay.   Thus some of the reason for my lack of painting. 

 Today I received the most amazing package in the mail.   I wish i had photographed it .  The packaging was like the most amazing Christmas present i have every received.  I found out about a company that is right here in Grand Junction , Colorado.  A patient of mine works for the company.   They make handmade watercolor paints and she , such a doll hand wraps every block of paint meticulously. 

I splurged!!!  For the last year I have really resisted buying paint because i had soooo much.   I have forced myself to work within the realm of what I have , with some exceptions.   It has been a great exercise.  Waste not is my motto.   But in anticipation of my upcoming month in India, knowing that traveling light is important as is continuing to express myself through my paintings I decided to purchase a set of these water colors.   I have never done watercolor!  It seems like the only option for traveling. This was going to be my Christmas present request but I learned that these paints go fast so I jumped on the wagon to buy.   The packages are so tiny but I can see that they are power punched with natural, organic pigment.   They are expensive but wow...

I want to dive into them now.  But i think i will not.  I will now look for the perfect paper to travel with and will preserve this precious mineral pigment for when i travel.   Stay tuned for what may come. .....  I cannot wait to work with these natural pure pigments while traveling in India.   

The company is called Greenleaf and Blueberry.   right here in my small city.  

xo Stacia
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most days i am ok with this.  well perhaps i should say many days.  But this is not an easy thing.  With many families watching there kids go off to new things.  flying away.  trying new things.  having new adventures.  I am feeling the reality that that is not our experience. 

 Tonight as both Kelly and I i came home tired and realized dinner had to be made, Lucas was hungry and ornry  and i did not feel that i had what I needed, it hit me.  The reality that i do not and will likely never have an empty next.  That my friend, is a  big deal...

Most days I gracefully accept the fact that we will not have an empty nest . somedays i celebrate it.  and some days i feel pain about it like today.   Several couples came in today celebrating the fact that their nest is empty.   Oh the adventures and freedom that they see.  

Deep down , despite my love for my child,  I long for an empty next .  Then i think of those who wanted children and could not have them.  Those who feel lonely. Those who lack for purpose and those that lost their loves.   

I am a gypsy and by nature and by nature i live for freedom.  But then the reality of life presents itself.  This is my life.  my beloved son Lucas cannot be independent.  

somedays this breaks my heart.  somedays i accept it without question.  somedays I celebrate it. 

This is my life. One that I will treasure.  





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​As the month of July winds down I realize this is my first blog post in 6 months.   I was on a good steady routine of once a month but I guess it was time for a blog break.   It has been a hot summer seemingly throughout the country.  It has been pretty brutal for us in Western Colorado.   Hot and dry.  As I sit here writing,  there are clouds above and thunder and I pray for rain.  This painting is titled Rain Dance.  It is a vibrant 30 x 30.

This summer I completed an online expressionism painting class with Ardith Goodwin and Shauna Meiri.  (Two artists in Mobile, Alabama with distinctly different styles but both amazing artists nonetheless.).  I also finished by first ever commission.  Two pieces measuring 24 x 36.  You can see them at the bottom of this post.

​ My studio which I moved from the spare bedroom to the garage has been hot so I have taken to painting outside on my deck in the evenings.  That has been pleasant.  I am looking forward to crisp fall days and time back in my studio for sure.  

Big plans for me in early 2019.  I am planning to take the month of February off to travel to India.  This has been a dream of mine for many years and for the last 3-4 years I have been planning.  I am beyond excited about it.  I think i will travel with paper and a watercolor set to document the textures and colors of India.  It will be a challenge to go a month without income so anything that I sell between now and then will go towards keeping things afloat while I am gone.   For that reason i am offering a 20%  discount on all pieces on my website.   The prices in the store include shipping within the US.   I do have some updating to do on my website.   

The wind is picking up.  It is looking like rain.   I would love one of the back east storms where it rains all day long or maybe even for 2-3 days. Bring it on. 

RAIN DANCE

Thank you for reading!  
love, 

​stacia

you probably never expected me to write a blog post on this subject but trust me it is a real thing.

As you likely know, i am a breast cancer survivor of 5 1/2 years.   In the process of having surgical treatment , specifically bilateral mastectomy with lymph node dissection, i lost 17 lymph nodes in my right axilla ( armpit). Since then i have been dealing with lymphedema.   This is where you get swelling in an extremity or other part of the body due to lack of normal lymphatic flow.  The lymphatics are like lace.  They are very fragile and in the surgical process they can be destroyed . Something i totally took for granted but have an amazing respect for now.  

I have had great control over the lymphedema for the last several years however because of the stagnation of fluid, i am clearly at risk for cellulitis which is a skin infection.  I have had this on average once a year for the last several years . It is treated with antibiotics and that is that.  But not really.  It is a BIG deal.  

This past week i flew to North Carolina to see me mom and sisters.  We had a great quick but amazing time together.  on the plane i wore my lymphedema sleeve as recommended.   i was fine for the three nights i was there but at about 4:30 AM the morning i was to leave i woke up uncomfortable and freezing cold,   I was under two blankets but was shivering so i got up and put on my serious winter parka.     With that and the blankets , i could still not get warm so i got up and made myself a hot tub.  Soaked for about 30 minutes.   Once out of the tub I could barely stand up. I had severe body aches and headache with nausea and the skin on my arm was tender and started to turn red.  Normally i travel with antibiotics but this time i did not.  

I had to catch a plane in about two hours.   I knew i had to get the antibiotic in my system so at the risk of missing my flight i called in a prescription for myself to walgreens for Keflex.   I did get the prescription and ended up making my flight though i thought very seriously about cancelling the travel.  At this point I wanted to get home to my own bed,   It was a very long day of travel. 

I have been on antibiotics for 48 hours.  My arm is less red, i do not have fever but my lymphedema has ballooned. the swelling is out of control.  I have learned over the years that when the lymphedema flares, I just feel tired.   I have had a couple of hard days at work just getting through the day.  Today my arm felt like it was huge.   I could not stand it.  I decided to go to hard core, hot yoga.  

I had to get the fluid moving.  i sweated and it felt amazing.  Tonight as i lay down to bed i feel like the swelling will be better tomorrow.  I need rest.  Yoga fixes all things for me.   Lymphedema cannot be cured but it certainly can be managed.

This  evening i also worked on this very impromptu state of the union painting.    It is in its infancy but i thought i would share the work in progress.  

Grateful for my health
Grateful for yoga
Grateful for family
Grateful for painting
peace out people 
xo 

​love , stacia

I am sitting in front of the fire drinking my coffee as the sun comes up behind the Grande Mesa,  I treasure this silent time of the morning.  I am pondering the coming week. Another Thanksgiving is upon us.  I think it is one of my favorite holidays.  It will just be a small one again this year .  Just my immediate family minus Hannah. She will be in Florida for Thanksgiving and will be coming home for Christmas.  Time.  It just goes by so fast.   As i look at the list of my blog entries I realize I have been writing this blog now for 4 1/2 years.  almost monthly.  

If you did not see my last blog post,  I have been invited to show my art at the Church in Denver on December 7th with Conception Arts.  For me it is really exciting to think about going to the big city with my art.   I am super excited that my sister Cori and her husband Rick will be here from California as well as local friends I hope.  As I have a large collection of paintings ( obviously I cannot bring them all) and I paint big, I have requested a double space.  I do have to pay for the spaces.  

The cost is defrayed by selling tickets. The tickets are $20 a piece. They must be purchased by 12/02.  Thank you to those from afar who cannot make it but have been kind enough purchase a ticket to support me .  It means the world to me .  

If you would like to purchase a ticket you can do so here.    conceptionarts.com/artist/yIunkht

I now have 2018 calendars!   This will be my third year doing calendars.  The calendar has 13 of my original paintings and they are $30 each.   The can be purchased on my website  here.   Featured Products

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From my heart to yours I pray that you enjoy time with family and friends this Thanksgiving and that you take time, above and beyond,  recognize the gifts that lie ahead of you, behind you and at your feet at the present moment.  
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Thank you for the support you offer me in so many ways

Love.

​Stacia

https://www.conceptionarts.com/artist/yIunkht